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The Stag Party Phrasebook

It's hot, there are sexy women everywhere and your best mate is trying to find a strip club. Unfortunately, he doesn't speak Spanish and his naked-lady-dancing pantomime isn't going over well with the locals! Gents, you need a stag party phrasebook. I've gathered together the most important questions in any language. Print this out and keep it safe. It just might save your life...


Una cerveza, por favor - I'd like a beer, please

Donde esta el club de striptease? - Where is the strip club?

Has vista a mi amigo? - Have you seen my friend?

Si me gustaria otro tequila - Yes, I would like another tequila


Ein hellesbier bitte - I'd like a beer please (Hellesbier is the closest to English lager-style beer)

Wo ist der Strip-Club bitte? - Where is the strip club, please?

Wieviel fur ein privat tanz kosten? - How much does it cost for a private dance?

Ja, ich mochte eine andere Absinth bitte - Yes, I would like another absinthe please


Mag ik een biertje? - May I have a beer, please?

Waar is de stripclub? - Where is the strip club?

Wat is je naam? - What is your name?

Ja, ik zou graag nog een jenever - Yes, I would like another jenever (an insanely strong Dutch spirit)


Une biere, s'il vous plait - A beer, please

Ou est le club de striptease, s'il vous plait? - Where is the strip club, please?

Bonjour, mademoiselle, comment ca va? - How YOU doin?

Oui, je voudrais une armagnac - Yes, I would like another brandy


Jedno pivo, prosim - A beer, please

Kde je klub - Where is the strip club (you might have to mime boobies here)

Tento pan vsetko zaplati - This man will pay for everything

Chtel bych si dalsi whisky - I would like another whisky


Egy sort kerek - One beer, please

Hol van a sztriptizbarba? - Where is the strip club?

Van egy baratom? - Have you got a boyfriend?

Faj a fejem - My head hurts


En ol, tak - A beer, please

Hvor er den stripklub? - Where is the strip club?

Kender du en god klub? - Do you know a good club? (for dancing)

Jeg har brug for en aspirin - I need an aspirin


Uma cerveja por favor - One beer, please

Onde esta o clube de strip? - Where is the strip club?

A que horas voce terminar o trabalho? - What time do you get off?

Oh deus nunca mais - Oh God never again


Jedno pivo, molim vas - One beer, please

Gdje jestriptiz klub? - Where is the strip club?

Ti si prekrasna - You're gorgeous

Zelim moja mama - I want my mum


Una birra, por favore - A beer, please

Dove e la locale de striptease? - Where is the strip club?

Siete sorelle? - Are you sisters?

Non ce le faccio piu - I can't take it anymore


Jedno piwo prosze - One beer, please

Gdzie jestklub de striptizem? - Where is the strip club?

Bedziemy stad? - Shall we get out of here?

Ide do lozka, az nadszedl czas, aby wrocic du domu - I am going to bed until it's time to go home

Safe travels, chaps. And remember - what happens on tour stays on tour - until your workmate puts it on YouTube...

Back to articles Date Posted: Thursday 4th June 2015 Author: Jim Alexander