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Best Man Rules

Your handy guide to getting stag weekends right

Did you know the stag party originated in Sparta, where there'd be a massive piss-up for the groom the night before his wedding? Things have changed a bit since then - there's less chance of accidentally beheading a serving wench, for a start - but the essential ingredients for bachelor fun remain the same. Sort out the beer, the boobs and the ritual humiliation and you're home dry.

There are a few finer points to take care of, like making the most of the boys' budget. We've put together a quickfire guide to getting stag weekends bang on, from big fun in the afternoons to classic lady-bits in the evening. Best men, read on!

Boobs come first

To become a best man worthy of the title, you've got a key objective to shoot for. Seek out perfect tits before you've left the office, and the rest of the stag weekend will almost take care of itself. Question is, how are you going to guarantee the lap dancing club or strip bar you've found is any cop? Easy. Leave the decisions to us, and we'll get you guaranteed VIP entry to a place where the boobs are booty-full, the girls are up for a laugh and the bouncers don't look like they want to kill you. Avoid tourist traps and head straight for the high class lapdancers. The groom will thank you for it (when he's stopped drooling).

Afternoons are best spent outside

Think the best way to spend a stag weekend Saturday afternoon is in the pub? Think again. All-day drinking sessions seem like a great idea until you're face-down in the gutter at 9pm, or getting into fights outside nightclubs. Make sure the fun stays fun with a proper break from the booze. Get the boys out in the fresh air for something different on the Saturday arvo, and you'll do two things: cure hangovers, and reset the enthusiasm for another night on the lash.

Top hangover-busting activities include go karting, quad biking and water sports. Anything that gets the adrenaline pumping will blast last night's booze out the system and get the boys in fine fettle for the big one. Plus, crazy afternoon action gives stag parties with lots of different groups of friends something to bond over.

Think across the board

You've got to think about everyone on the stag weekend if it's going to be a success. Start by getting a list of must-have attendees from the big man. Then work out a budget that doesn't leave anyone out. Going high end is all well and good, but if it means the groom's other oldest friend has to stay home, what's the point?

The best best men plan for the future, too. Adrenaline sports are great afternoon activities; but actual insanity is good for no-one. Same goes for the ritual humiliation. Hire a bunch of actors to pretend to arrest the stag, but don't spike his drink and send him to Bratislava unless you want to ruin his wedding. Anything that could cause actual injury, or bung a real, unfunny spanner in the works between groom and Mrs, is right out!

Got any best man tips of your own? Let us know how you'd go about putting together the perfect stag weekend!

Back to articles Date Posted: Thursday 24th April 2014 Author: Jim Alexander